Translations / 02 ยท Sample entry
Eligibility Letter
Original
Pursuant to the determination rendered herein, your application has not been approved at this time due to a failure to satisfy the documentation requirements outlined in the enclosed notice.
29 words
Plain
We can't approve your application yet. We're missing some paperwork. See the list of what we need.
17 words, down from 29
What changed
The rewrite leads with the decision, names the real problem in everyday words, and tells the reader where to look next.